Two Irish girls
Two Irish girl sprinters are training for the 100 metres race. One says to the other: "You won't believe this, but I've just run 100 metres in 10 seconds." The other says: "But that's impossible, that's the world record." So the other says: "Ah hah, but I took a short cut."
Quick One Liners
Q: What do you get if Batman and Robin get smashed by a steam roller?
A: Flatman and ribbon.
Q: Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door?
A: He wanted to win the No-bell prize.
Q: Why do eskimos wash their clothes in tide?
A: Because it's too cold out tide!
Q: Why did the boy blush when he opened the fridge?
A: He saw the salad dressing!
How do you start a jelly race?
Get set!How do you start a tapioca race?
SagoHow do you start a Teddy Bear race?
Ready Teddy Go.How do you start a firefly race?
Ready, set, glow!Q. Who are the most indispensable men in international soccer competition?
A. The riot police.Watery Eggs
Man: Do you serve breakfast here?
Waitress: Sure; what'll it be?"
Man:Let me have watery eggs…some burnt toast…and some weak coffee, lukewarm.
Waitress: Whatever you say, sir.
Man: Now are you doing anything while that order is going through?
Waitress: Why…no, sir.
Man: Then sit here and nag me a while…I'm feeling homesick.
Watery Eggs 2
Man: Do you serve breakfast here?
Waitress: Sure; what'll it be?"
Man: Let me have watery eggs…some burnt toast…and some weak coffee, lukewarm.
Waitress: Sorry Sir but we don't serve our food that way.
Man: Well you did yesterday!!!
The Three Moles
A mama mole, a papa mole, and a baby mole all live in a little molehole.
One day the papa mole sticks his head out of the hole, sniffs the air and says, "Yum! I smell maple syrup!"
The mama mole sticks her head out of the hole, sniffs the air and says "Yum! I smell honey!"
The baby mole tries to stick his head out of the hole to
sniff the air, but can't because the bigger moles are in the way so he says,"Geez, all I can smell is....molasses."
